Things I Learned Since Last Year - 2011

From the desk of Jase:

Today is my Birthday.  As I finish another year, now immensely wiser and more mature, it only seems appropriate to search my most profound, searching lessons from last year for a brief recap and proper credit due. After nearly 18 minutes of self-inflectionating, I got nothing and wrote this list instead.

From the U.S. Navy Seals: Conventional wisdom (like from classic movies, I mean) tell us that it’s always fun and games UNTIL someone loses an eye. But, depending on whose eye, the reverse can sometimes be true which can lead to momentary jubilation.

From my French co-workers: Even though I haven’t found the right Cheese Dealer yet for my fixes, I do agree with you that the term “Chinese Ravioli” is infinitely more appetizing-sounding than the English equivalent wording of “Steamed Dumpling.”

From my wife: Even if, in a new location at night you hear many unfamiliar sounds outside the house, likely originating from horses, stray cats, birds, and hundreds of frogs & toads….even then, it is NEVER appropriate to say out loud that the identification of a persistent, shrill sound is “a toss-up” between the annoying pool alarm, a Ms. Pac-Man toad emigrated possibly from Chernobyl, and a certain someone’s allergy-induced sleeping nose whistles. But no matter where we live, you’re the most beautiful part of my life.

From my American hyperconsumerist tendencies: Eating an entire bag of Doritos during a marathon session of Prison Break makes you neither “Cool”-er nor “Ranch”-ier, even if the product proclaims it boldly right there on the packaging. This is also how I learned that Frito Lay means “Fried Lie” in Spanish.

From The Social Network: “DONCHA SEE?! His genius connects everyone else around the world, but LOOK HOW ANTISOCIAL and SAD he actually is.” Quippy dialogue steamrolled by broody, slathered-on irony.

From my new British mates: While I have enjoyed hearing Tiffany cheekily referred to as one of the “Class Mums,” I still cannot find the more casually used term “Mummy” even a little bit sexy. What can I say? Brendan Fraser is just a powerful indoctrinator.

From The Big Bang Theory: Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

From French cuisine: Too many to list, but if I had to pick one Wow-zer, it would be black truffles. With new and improved truffliness.

From my Daughters: Thanks for allowing me to feel like a hero because of my awesome Wii skills. Someday, way too soon, I will miss not being able to fix any problem with either a Band-Aid, an ice cream cone, a trip to the carnival, a pony ride, a silly made-up game, or a hug.

From The Hunger Games: Remember who your opponents are.

From Joe Morton (as passed from Papa G): 1) Steady as she goes, 2) Don’t take it personal, and 3) This, too, shall pass. Wise advice to be used in all aspects of life; be it in recreational boating, in crises, or with kidney stones. It has stuck with me ever since I heard it.

From Mumford & Sons: Oh, man is a giddy thing. Indeed, sirs.

From my Friends Everywhere: Thanks for pushing me, supporting me, balancing me and enriching my life. I have the most patient and giving friends a guy could ever deliberately move away from.

I look forward to many more life lessons this coming year! Especially from The X Factor.