Jason's Birthday Bash

Dave Barry once said something close to this: “There’s an age you should stop making a big deal out of your birthday.  That age is 10.”  Jason and I both very much agree with Dave; however, there’s nothing wrong with using your birthday as an excuse to go out, right?  This year I wanted to try and plan an evening and keep it a surprise from Jason.  I knew it would invlove going out to eat (this is France, DUH). But then also, since Jason has lamented several times since we moved here how much he misses going to movies, I knew I had to figure out how to squeeze a movie into the evening as well.

Dinner and a movie should be no biggie--except in FRANCE. Here's why: when you go to dinner in France, you have to expect that it will take 3 hours (at least).  Plus, you can’t plan to go to dinner at 5:00 or 6:00 to beat the dinner rush since most restaurants here aren't even open for dinner at that time. In fact, it's pretty much impossible to get a reservation ANYWHERE before 7:00, and even then, it’s not likely.  Most French people don’t even think of dinner until about 8:00 or later.  Also, here’s a huge difference between French and American dining: when you make a reservation somewhere, the table isn’t going to turn over.  You have rented that space FOR THE EVENING.  Restaurants in France don’t have the mentality of a Chili's or an Applebees: to get you seated and eating as soon as possible, then get you out and give your table to someone else as soon as possible to maximize tips and profits.  Your server in any restaurant in France wouldn’t dream of bringing you the bill until you ask for it.  When Lumiere says “Be our Guest” in the movie "Beauty and the Beast," he really, really means it.  In French dining you are treated as a special guest, and you can stay as long as you like.  I have learned to love this about dining out in France, and it will be hard to go back to being treated like “you need to hurry—there are people waiting for your table.”   But sometimes, I wouldn’t mind being pushed out the door.  I just want to eat in an hour or so and then get on with my evening.

So I decided to opt for a restaurant that wasn’t technically French.  Not even close.  I picked a sushi place in Nice called Kamogawa, and then figured we had a shot at making good time to see a movie afterwards.  Sushi is another one of those things Jason said he has missed in France, so I figured my plan of “dinner and a movie” was pretty failsafe.  I made a reservation the earliest allowed, at 7:00, and our plan was to hit a movie at 10:10.  There weren’t a lot of choices for movies in English (they call them "La Version Originale" or "VO").  So I picked “Midnight in Paris,” which had just shown at the Cannes Film Festival.  Neither Jason nor I love Woody Allen films, but I was still hopeful.  After all, it got fairly good reviews.  I also invited some friends to come along with us.  Two of the three American couples I invited could make it, but I actually told Jason that no one I invited wanted to come.  He said, “Should I take that personally?”  I just told him people are busy—don’t worry about it.

With all my carefully crafted planning—we even had a babysitter lined up who agreed to spend the night so we didn’t have to take her home at 1:00 in the morning—we were still late for our dinner reservation.  Jason went golfing for the first time since we have lived here, and although he left at 9:30 in the morning, he didn’t get back until 6:30!  He still needed time to shower and get ready.  Anyone reading this post who knows me will be so impressed...because I didn’t get mad!  (I hate being late.)  I sincerely just hoped he had had a nice time.  He rarely takes time like that for himself, and I was so glad he was able to.  Our friends ended up waiting for us for a half hour at the restaurant, but they were all very nice about it.  Jason was so surprised and pleased to see them, and big deal, we missed the appetizers. 

Left to Right: Me, Alisa and Jason Yokum from Arizona, Mark and Anne Baird from Washington DC, and Jason

Our friends Mark and Anne Baird with Jason.  (I love the "lean in.")  I had to include the photo not just because everyone looks good, but Jason looks espeically handsome in one of the new shirts I got him for his birthday.

The sushi ended up being very good—pretty, well presented, and tasty.  Japanese food is always so lovely to look at.  Two of the four people who joined us had never even tried sushi before, so I was impressed they were willing to be daring—there was quite a lot of sashimi (raw fish) topping all the pieces of sushi.  That can be a little much for your first time ever trying sushi rolls, but our friends were great sports. Jason and I loved it.  

This shrimp tempura roll was a hit 

It's so pretty to look at!!  And so delicious.

The movie theater ended up being within walking distance from the restaurant (what luck!!), and though we enjoyed the movie, it was certainly nothing like seeing a movie in Dolby surround sound in a modern American theater.  First of all, there were no concessions.  Can you believe that?  There was a vending machine with few beverages, and that was it!!!!  Also, there was no air conditioning in the theater.  I am so used to being cold while watching a movie, but this time, it was quite warm, even borderline stuffy.  Despite not having the fancy sound system and large screen, etc. we are used to, we loved seeing an American-made movie, especially one that takes place on the streets of beautiful Paris. 

This is a cute movie, and we all liked it

So, overall, it was a really fun night.  I hope Jason enjoyed it as much as I did.  We now get to be the same age for two whole weeks until I turn older on June 5.      

Things I Learned Since Last Year - 2011

From the desk of Jase:

Today is my Birthday.  As I finish another year, now immensely wiser and more mature, it only seems appropriate to search my most profound, searching lessons from last year for a brief recap and proper credit due. After nearly 18 minutes of self-inflectionating, I got nothing and wrote this list instead.

From the U.S. Navy Seals: Conventional wisdom (like from classic movies, I mean) tell us that it’s always fun and games UNTIL someone loses an eye. But, depending on whose eye, the reverse can sometimes be true which can lead to momentary jubilation.

From my French co-workers: Even though I haven’t found the right Cheese Dealer yet for my fixes, I do agree with you that the term “Chinese Ravioli” is infinitely more appetizing-sounding than the English equivalent wording of “Steamed Dumpling.”

From my wife: Even if, in a new location at night you hear many unfamiliar sounds outside the house, likely originating from horses, stray cats, birds, and hundreds of frogs & toads….even then, it is NEVER appropriate to say out loud that the identification of a persistent, shrill sound is “a toss-up” between the annoying pool alarm, a Ms. Pac-Man toad emigrated possibly from Chernobyl, and a certain someone’s allergy-induced sleeping nose whistles. But no matter where we live, you’re the most beautiful part of my life.

From my American hyperconsumerist tendencies: Eating an entire bag of Doritos during a marathon session of Prison Break makes you neither “Cool”-er nor “Ranch”-ier, even if the product proclaims it boldly right there on the packaging. This is also how I learned that Frito Lay means “Fried Lie” in Spanish.

From The Social Network: “DONCHA SEE?! His genius connects everyone else around the world, but LOOK HOW ANTISOCIAL and SAD he actually is.” Quippy dialogue steamrolled by broody, slathered-on irony.

From my new British mates: While I have enjoyed hearing Tiffany cheekily referred to as one of the “Class Mums,” I still cannot find the more casually used term “Mummy” even a little bit sexy. What can I say? Brendan Fraser is just a powerful indoctrinator.

From The Big Bang Theory: Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock

From French cuisine: Too many to list, but if I had to pick one Wow-zer, it would be black truffles. With new and improved truffliness.

From my Daughters: Thanks for allowing me to feel like a hero because of my awesome Wii skills. Someday, way too soon, I will miss not being able to fix any problem with either a Band-Aid, an ice cream cone, a trip to the carnival, a pony ride, a silly made-up game, or a hug.

From The Hunger Games: Remember who your opponents are.

From Joe Morton (as passed from Papa G): 1) Steady as she goes, 2) Don’t take it personal, and 3) This, too, shall pass. Wise advice to be used in all aspects of life; be it in recreational boating, in crises, or with kidney stones. It has stuck with me ever since I heard it.

From Mumford & Sons: Oh, man is a giddy thing. Indeed, sirs.

From my Friends Everywhere: Thanks for pushing me, supporting me, balancing me and enriching my life. I have the most patient and giving friends a guy could ever deliberately move away from.

I look forward to many more life lessons this coming year! Especially from The X Factor.

Animal Crackers

In April over Spring Break, we decided to have a "staycation."  (If that phrase is getting overused or trite, I apologize, but nevertheless, that's what it was.)  We originally wanted to take the kids to Paris or to EuroDisney (which they don't even know exists yet, so shhhhhhh), but we decided there were still several things to do around here in the Southern region that we hadn't experienced yet.  One of those things was the Frejus Zoo, which is only about 45 minutes from our house.  Distance wise, it's closer to travel to Frejus from our villa in France than it is to drive to Hogle Zoo from our house in Utah. But...the experience at this particular zoo in France could not be more different than a trip to Hogle Zoo.  I can't really say if that's a good thing or a bad thing.  There were things about this zoo that I really liked, but I won't lie: I sort of felt sorry for the animals, and that usually isn't like me.  I'm more pragmatic and generally less emotional than that when it comes to animals.  (No, I am not and will never be a vegetarian.) 

Where zoos in the US are generally sprawling, shady affairs with large trees, natural-looking habitats, and have paved walking trails with designated picnic areas, this one was a little dusty and desolate.  Also, it seemed like the animals were left to sort of fend for themselves, many of them basically fenced in with plain old chainlink fences.  It feels less like a zoo and more like a retirement home where owners of exotic pets can just leave their donations at the gate with a leash and a note. In most zoos, you can't walk past an exhibit without seeing zoo keepers or workers everywhere, painstakingly washing down the cages, feeding the animals their prescribed diet, and generally taking care of them.  Here, we didn't see a single employee except the woman who took our money at the entrance. (We are assuming she also runs the snack bar.)  It was eerie and a little disconcerting.  The theme of the zoo seemed to be: "We assume you are reasonably intelligent and responsible.  If you are stupid enough to stick your fingers in the cages and get bitten by our animals, then you deserve it."  Okay, fair enough.

When we paid our money to enter the zoo, the gate attendant asked if we wanted to buy "cookies" (les gateaux) to feed the animals.  We only paused for a second for it to translate/register in our brains, thinking, "What?  We're ALLOWED to feed the animals?? And they seriously can eat COOKIES???"  The woman told us we could feed all the mammals, including the buffalo, elephants, goats, hippos, monkeys, kangaroos, zebras, etc., so we decided to buy a 1-kilo bag for 3 Euros.  Can you believe this is not regulated or monitored AT ALL?  That would never happen in the US.  This was not the first time I was surprised that some French version of PETA wasn't throwing a fit about how these animals were living at this zoo.  However, it didn't stop us.  If anything, it only made the zoo questionable in the minds of the parents, but it made the zoo SUPER-DUPER AWESOME in the minds of our kids. Here they are in the act of feeding some of the animals. See the chain link fence bulging with the weight of all the goats pressing against it:

Watch those fingers, Maisy!!

I cannot emphasize how much the animals loved these cookies.  They seriously couldn't get enough. (My kids ate some and liked them too.) And the kids were having a ball, just laughing hysterically at how the animals were clamoring over one another to eat these little treats.  At first I was so worried the kids would get bitten or that this feeding frenzy wasn't safe, but I got over that pretty quickly.

When we encountered an especially greedy little elephant, we realized one bag would never be enough. (Also, we burned through the first bag of cookies in about 10 minutes flat.)

So in typical "American" fashion, we went back to the gate entrance and stocked up. Yes, Jason decided to buy FOUR more bags.  The lady just stared at him initially, trying to determine if she had understood his halting French, but he assured her he wanted FOUR more bags. Of animal cracker cookies. To feed the zoo animals. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. "Nous trouvons l'elephant," he simply explained (We found the elephant.).  She just nodded and took his money, probably glad that she didn't need to open the snackbar for another 45 mins.




Then we had an interesting experience.  As we were tossing cookies to this elephant, we were fascinated by the incredible dexterity of its trunk.  We thought for sure that the elephant's big trunk would not be able to grab these thin small cookies off the ground, but it had NO problem grabbing them one at a time, pretty as you please, and transferring them to its mouth. When the elephant wanted more, it would lift up its trunk and open its mouth, which we understood as a pretty obvious signal because we have been parents of three toddlers.

Trust me, we fed this elephant plenty of cookies, but we were finally ready to move on.  So when it showed us its mouth this last time, we ignored it.  Are you ready for this?  As we waved our farewells, it reached down in the dirt with its trunk as we watched intently, thinking it was trying to reach for some grass or some small cookie piece.  But instead, it threw a big trunkful of DIRT at us as if to say "If you're not going to feed me, then get out of here!"  We even got it on video.  It's worth watching:

That's gratitude for you!  As it reached down to throw more dirt, we got out of there in a hurry!