'Cause You Had A Lousy Day

I haven’t posted in a while, and I noticed my lousy (heh heh) husband is taking over our blog (I secretly thought of it as MINE)!! I hope you have all enjoyed his musings the last little while. I haven’t had the best month so far; hence, the lack of blogging. At a nearby roundabout recently, I was in a minor car accident that wasn’t my fault, but it was still terribly inconvenient (French bureaucracy and all that), AND I also sprained my ankle really badly yesterday at the zoo. The first day of my kids’ Spring Break vacation, and I go and twist my ankle so badly that I can’t walk. I suppose I just feel picked on. You don't know how literally I mean that, but please read on. . .

One of the exciting things about having kids in school is that they start to pick up things from everyone they associate with. New words, new phrases, new skills and information since they are learning and absorbing so much. For example, neither Jason nor I remember teaching our twins the game of tic-tac-toe, but they learned it somewhere and love to play it during church. They also learned about dragon moray eels recently, including a somewhat disturbing story about a diver whose thumb was bitten off, and he surgically replaced his thumb with his big toe. We all got a good laugh out of "Big Toe Thumb Diver." Usually, these are good, interesting items and concepts that are being transferred to their cute little heads. And sometimes, these items are lice.

Yes, I am embarrassed to admit that the very worst thing that happened recently to the Pierce household is that last Wednesday I found a blood-sucking, parasitic, completely revolting large live LOUSE in my sweet, little blond 3-year-old daughter’s hair. In retrospect I wished I had remained calmer because Maisy saw the louse in the sink and started to get scared and cry. She said, “Mommy, what was that bug in my hair?” That day and a few days after were NOT good days for me. According to Jase, I immediately shifted into Defcon 1 Mode, and the entire family was on HIGH alert and allout war.

First of all I have to say that Maisy’s teacher is THE SCHOOL NURSE. She’s the one that’s supposed to find lice in kids’ hair, then call home and report it, right? So when there was a sign two weeks ago posted outside Maisy’s classroom saying, “NOTICE: We have lice at school,” I figured, well, at least Maisy’s teacher--a qualified medical professional and educator--will be checking these kids daily and she will know what to look for. I have since learned that head lice are extremely common in the south of France, and they are a year-round problem for all schools. My friend whose children go to the same international school told me her kids had three outbreaks within the last year alone. None of this information made me feel any better when I found the adult female in Maisy’s hair. I had never seen one before and wasn’t completely sure what I was looking at, but of course, I suspected the worst. After a little internet research, I was 100% sure it was a louse, and I even knew it was female since I could see eggs in her abdomen. Grody to the max!

This is just like the one I found in Maisy's hair!  Can you even imagine?

Of course after all my screaming, ranting, and just general FREAKING out (which instantly transmitted and heightened all the girls' emotions until nearly everyone was crying or "wigging out"), my very patient husband says to me, “I’ll go to the pharmacy and get the shampoo or whatever we need. You just start stripping the beds and CALM DOWN.” Not only did I strip the beds (and I have to include here that I had just washed all the linens in the house the weekend before), I also stripped the couch, the cushions, the chair covers, and washed every blanket in the house, whether we had used it recently or not. I even washed every coat and jacket in the house. I know I overreacted, but this was my very first experience with lice, and I was not taking any chances!

In addition to the laundry, I had to sterilize every brush and comb in the house. Even the Afro Pick.

Jason went straight to the pharmacy, asked in French about lice treatments, and was directed to an entire aisle of products. In typical overkill fashion, his question: "How much and how many products can I comfortably buy from a single pharmacy location before the pharmacist sends a Gendarme to follow me home?" The answer is 10 products, 4 fine-tooth combs, and 1 magnifying glass. Even though he claims to have received a look from the pharmacist indicating that: 'This crazy American probably lives underneath a bridge with all his ketchup-eating infected brood like an untalented, immobile gypsy camp of flea-bitten varmints', he eventually came home from the pharmacy with 80 Euros worth of stuff: combs, shampoos, sprays, and creams. All directions were in French, of course, but we think we figured out how to correctly use everything. The directions said to treat all members of the family on the same day, so after the twins came home from school, they got a treatment too. I found a few small bugs in Jocelyn’s hair and also a few nits (eggs), but nothing in Jenica’s. Every time I would find something in Jocelyn’s hair, she would rant, “OH, COME ON!!!” Needless to say I haven’t let the girls wear their hair down since.

Here is the buffet of products Jason bought at one pharmacy location.  There were plenty of "anti-poux" products, so he had a lot to choose from.

That night, I treated Jason’s hair and my own hair. Sure enough, Jason and I both had been infected too!!! Can you imagine anything more horrible? My infestation was worse. I didn’t find a single nit in Jason’s, just two tiny adults (or maybe they were nymphs), so fortunately we caught it very early. Maisy loves to come get in bed with me at 5 or 6 in the morning, and she loves to snuggle close to me. Obviously she transferred some of the lice to me maybe 5-7 days ago. I had nits as well as 2-3 small adults, but nothing like what I found in Maisy’s hair. I can’t help it. . .I keep checking and rechecking the kids’ hair. They are so sick of being combed out with the nit comb, but I just can’t stop trying to be thorough. I swear I am instantly at RED ALERT at the sight of any little flake or fuzzy in their hair.


Just to give you an idea of size if you have never had the good fortune to experience these critters first hand

As I was treating Jason, and carefully looking in his hair for nits, he said he felt a bit like a chimpanzee getting groomed (insert obligatory banana joke from Jase here). I should have laughed, but I’m sorry, there was just nothing funny about the situation. Maybe someday I will laugh, but right now, I am just a stressed-out mess.

It look three full days to complete the laundry. My little washer worked overtime, since I stayed up until all hours of the night finishing it all. When I finally was convinced Maisy was nit-free and took her to school, I told her teacher about the lice. I said to please check the other kids, because if she brought it home again I would surely have a nervous breakdown!

Believe it or not, this is day 2 of the laundry.  I had already completed at least 8 loads the day before

Six days later, I treated the whole family again with a spray and then a shampoo.

Here are the girls with their final treatment in their hair

I am happy to report we are clean!! Exhausted, but clean and lice free. Our emotions ran from revulsion to disgust to anger to shame to embarrassment to resolve to commitment to methodical purpose to compassion to paranoia to frustration and reconciliation, before settling down finally on revulsion. I still can't stop feeling a creepy-crawly sensation everytime I think about it. Thinking about it from a higher perspective, we had a good run. Out of all the countries that Jason has visited, even the fact that we lived in 3rd world countries during our missions, this is our first experience with it. But, like using rented shoes at a bowling alley, getting engaged, or signing up for a Costco membership, the first time is always the worst. Now we are prepared and vigilant to handle the situation. Plus, it's not like that pharmacist is going to think any LESS of us now.

Look at me!!  I'm lice free!!