To The Edge of Doom

This phrase comes from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116. As Shakespeare describes what true love is, he says it will follow “to the edge of doom.” I engraved this phrase on the inside of the wedding ring that we bought Jason with our student loan money so many years ago. When I married Jason I promised to follow him, even if it meant he would take me to the edge of doom. So the South of France is hardly the edge of doom, right? Of course not, but even if his job had transferred him to Moscow, Tokyo, or Luxembourg, I would have gone with him. And, I wouldn’t complain too much (at least not to him), AND I really would make the best of it. It is not in my nature to fixate on the things I do not have and lament over what cannot be. (I was teased relentlessly on my mission for my sunny outlook despite my meager circumstances; I was called a “trooper” mostly, and it’s true, because I try to make the best of any situation I am in.)


That being said, I have had my mini meltdowns here in France. Mostly because I cannot speak the language AT ALL, and feel pretty cut off from the life I have known for a long time in the United States. Not having access to internet, TV, movies, radio, my friends, family, or even my cell phone really has been quite a culture shock. We also keep paying what I call a “stupid tax” because we make lots of foreigner mistakes that cost us extra money, mostly due to the language barrier. Once small example is that I bought a package that I thought was microwaveable ravioli and sauce for the kids to try (think Chef Boyardee in a bag). After all, it had a picture of ravioli and sauce on the front. After I heated it up, I realized it was only the SAUCE for ravioli, no pasta to be found. So much for my dinner idea. Sure, there are coupons, specials, and lots of ways to save money here on groceries, but you have to be able to know what these advertisements say or mean. Since we don’t, we pay a premium for everything at this point. I think we spent close to 400 Euros the first week here on food (that’s about $500) and only ate out at McDonald’s once! It has become a cardinal sin in our family to waste food. It just costs too much. I am confident we will learn to shop smarter.

My ring is engraved with another phrase from Sonnet 116: “an ever-fixed mark.” It’s a good reminder to both of us that the kind of marriage we want to have is one that is first and foremost, loving. Sounds simple, but that’s our “ever-fixed mark.” What good comes from criticism, complaining about things or each other, or refusal to support one another? Not much. So we will keep laughing about our constant “stupid-tax” payments (should they become a direct withdrawal out of our French bank account?) and the fact that we get lost sometimes, and the fact that we miss central air, cable, and Netflix, but not as much as we miss sisters, brothers, cousins, parents, and friends.