The Bends

From the Desk of Jase:

When I took my certification classes for scuba diving, one test they made me perform was to screw a bolt onto a nut. Simple task, right? They timed me attaching the nut to the bolt first on the deck of the boat before jumping in, and then they also made me perform the task, timed again, at a depth of about 110 feet during a shipwreck dive. I would never have guessed it, but my time was significantly slower on the bottom. The point of the exercise was to demonstrate that--even if you think your judgment, cognitive decision-making ability, reflexes, and efficienty are exactly the same--they are not. Because of the changed environment and increased nitrogen in your bloodstream, everyone experiences small effects of nitrogen narcosis. Which is why you plan ahead, monitor your buddy, don't take unnecessary risks, and keep to the safety regulations when surfacing to avoid decompression sickness (aka "The Bends").

As we enter the second year of this international assignment, I got to thinking about all the comments from family, friends and co-workers we received over the summer holidays. One of the most recurring questions was: "How is it different?" I mean, besides the fact that it's a new country and a new language that we are still struggling with. In responding to that question, I attempted, unsuccessfully, to explain the cumulative amounts of tiny changes and adjustments that we've experienced thus far, some of which feel like they've reduced our efficiency or the pace we were used to. All of these small differences are part of the challenge, stretching, and growth opportunities that come along with any foreign rotation. You don't feel the growth anymore than you can see your kids put on inches, but I can only assume that we must be growing in some ways because we feel like we've been WAY outside of your comfort zone for such an extended period of time. On cloudier days, these tiny differences can feel like inconveniences and on stormy days I'll admit that they sometimes feel like unnecessary points of annoyance and frustration (when we just shake our heads, shrug our shoulders, and say "Vive la France"). Most of these occurred during that first year "plunge," which means that as we've started Year 2, it has gone much smoother. We just know better now. Our perspectives were widened most rapidly then (or is it that we've learned less in recent months...hopefully not).

So herein I list, a non-comprehensive list of some of the adjustments and bending, both positive and negative that our family experienced during the first year up to now. Things that we know have or are causing us to get the nut onto the bolt slower than we would normally do it back on deck.

1. Weights & Measures--like measuring the temperature in Celsius versus Fahrenheit. To date, only Tiff understands this because of her science background. This is true for all the conversions from Imperial to Metric standards--e.g., gallons to liters, miles to kilometers, pounds to kilograms, etc. If it weren't for illegal drugs, I doubt that any American kid would have a shot of knowing how much 100 grams weighs. The only measurement that I've found to be absolutely consistent in the U.S. and here is that eating 1 creme brulee still equals opening up 1 notch on my belt. That ratio is, sadly, intact.

2. Dollars to Euros.  This was to be expected, but what is interesting is how many of our French friends have commented about how switching from the French Franc to the Euro reduced their purchasing power. In fact, most receipts list both Francs and Euros, even though France has been on the Euro for over 10 years now. So when we complain that gas is about $10 a gallon, it turns out that all the locals complain about it too (or at least, how many liters they used to be able to buy with those mighty Francs).

3. From winter snow to winter rain. No complaints here. This was a welcome adjustment for a season, but leads me shortly to:

4. Unprotected necks versus wearing scarves all the time during the cold months. Yes, I'm now a fan of the scarf. And I grudgingly admit that they are cooler than turtlenecks. Plus the girls look dang cute in them, and all three know how to tie them "Euro-style" (see sample pic below of Jocelyn last November).  Yes, she's holding hands with a mannequin boy, but that's not strange or anything. . .

Jenica, Maisy, Jocelyn--December 2010

5. Media Regional Incompatibility--First, from NTSC to PAL video format. This just means that DVDs we brought from the US don't play in normal DVD players, and the ones we buy here don't play normally either. We had to buy a "multi-region" player to accommodate both. Surely this was fixed with the sweet new Blu-Ray technology, right? Nope. All digital coding is still regional-specific. Even things like the Nintendo Wii, the handheld DS consoles, and the Xbox--the games aren't compatible from region to region. Which mean that, yes, we did break down a buy a new Wii and all-new games for the kids. We never did replace the Xbox, which is all for the better since I've had no time to enjoy my usual zombie fests.

6. QWERTY keyboard to AZERTY keyboard. The QWERTY style is the most popular keyboard in the world, for English-speaking countries. In Europe, there are some variants on this. France and Belgium, in particular have adopted an AZERTY-style keyboard instead of QWERTY-style keyboard. Probably because of the frequency of those vowels, etc. The keyboard is only different by less than 10 keys, but when typing on one, my efficiency feels reduced by at least 32%. I've been able to get "imported" QWERTY-style keyboards, but my BlackBerry is still in the French style and it takes some adjustment and corrections, which is not awesome. Not qzesome on qny dqy of the zeek.

Takes longer to LMQO

7. More Power To Ya--switching from 110 voltage to 220 voltage. So, our outlets here pack enough current to run an electric dryer or recharge my phone. It also means that we've fried a few things, and we've bought our fair share of these, just to get our appliances to plug into the wall:

8. Dates and Times--from MM/DD/YYYY (Month-Day-Year) to DD/MM/YYYY format. This is one that's easier to mess up on documents and they are unforgiving about it, as if you are simply making the date up and don't really know the date of your kids' birthday's. Also, from standard time (12AM midnight to 12PM noon) to Military Time, where midnight is 0h00, and bedtime for the kids is 20h00. If this weren't confusing enough, France also observes Daylight Savings Time, but NOT at the exact same time as the United States, even though the latitude is similar to New England (so we're not THAT much further North). The daylight savings time is only 2-3 weeks different, but it's just one of those things that you have to ask--Why?

9. Right Round, Baby, Right Round--From stoplights and 4-way stop signs to roundabouts. Yes, they have roundabouts in the U.S. as well. NOT. LIKE. HERE. This is Roundabout Heaven, where nearly every intersection is connected with roundabouts, and each roundabout has a name (but nobody uses them). It's quaint, and they are sometimes landscaped well, with decorative garnishes (like a turning water wheel), but they are also a little annoying and most accidents occur there. The rumor is that the famous 10-point roundabout in Paris called Place de l'Etoile (Star Plaza) with the Arc de Triomphe at the center of it is the busiest intersection in France and that the police don't even bother investigating traffic accidents there. Another urban myth is that motor insurance companies won't cover you if you are driving around this roundabout, which is not entirely true. But it IS true that if you get into an accident with someone else, that both insurance companies generally just pay for their own policyholder and NOT the other guy.

10. "I don't need to learn French, Dad.  I already speak English and British"--Though it's true Jenica said this to me last year, and I laughed, I now realize there's some truth to viewing American English as similar, but quite different in lots of ways from European English (thanks to the UK).  We all know rubbish, dustbin, trousers, biscuits, and many others, but Tiffany was surprised when they made her use all British spelling in the English classes she teaches Wednesdays, like the American spelling is inferior or less than "correct."  She has to spell words thus: favourite, centre, colour, centimetre, litre, mum (never "mom"), and many others.  They also never say "Z."  It's "Zed."  Also "pants" means "men's underwear," and they ALL use the word "rubber" rather than "eraser."  My girls will need to unlearn that one before they come back to America. . . I'll pay to see the look on their elementary teacher's face when they tell her they "need a rubber--straight away, if you please."

11. An Inconvenient Truth--there are not a lot of what we consider "modern" consumer conveniences. They do have drive-thrus, but only at McDonald's, which they renamed as the McDrive. But no drive-thru banking, pharmacies, or podiatrists. Most grocery stores close at 7:30 or 8:00 (that's 19h30 or 20h00...), and DO NOT arrive there 5 minutes before unless you want to be leered at and murmured about like a German war veteran instead of a Dad looking for a loaf of bread, a liter of milk, and a stick of butter. Coming from the land of 24-hour Super Wal-marts and Super Targets, this one was one of the toughest adjustments. Well, that and not being able to find packaged oatmeal, macaroni and cheese, or Diet Mountain Dew (*sheds tear*). It also took us about a year to start remembering to BRING your own shopping bag into the store rather than having to buy them at the register. On the flip side, however...

12. Oven Fresh--not gonna lie, having access to fresh bakeries is incredible. This is one of those things that makes me look in the other direction and ask "How is it that the United States has been able to develop itself as a world power without offering fresh-baked breads and pastries on every corner?" It has taken some time to adjust to the French version of the croissant versus the Costco version. The ones here are just so flaky and fresh, and you sorta feel like apologizing on behalf of all your American brethren for having any part in the desecration that we call the Croissanwich. Nearly every bakery lists itself as having bread, pastries, and "Viennoisieries", which I couldn't find in the dictionary anywhere. It means --coming from Vienna. When I called my French co-workers on the wild and crazy fact that they attribute all their pastries from Vienna, they reminded me of the term "Danishes" which we use in the U.S., and which we rarely attribute to Denmark. Nice point. Touché.

13. Paper is Paper, So Why Should It Be? -- Switching from standard paper (8.5 by 11) to A4 paper. This means a new printer, new binders, new hanging folders, new filing cabinets, etc. Seemingly small change, but we're still feeling less than fully organized because of details like this.

14. Kid's Areas--there are some fantastic places to take our kids, like the Enchanted Forest, the beach, the zoo, the Cannes croisette, and the other playlands we've talked about thus far. They are actually somewhat refreshing from American standards, because I've never had to sign a waiver at any kids' playland area. Get this--they simply expect parents to watch and interact with their own freaking kids! So the lack of paid supervision at most of these places hasn't really bothered us at all. But here's a headscratcher--the McDonald's play area doubles as the smoking zone since it's outside. I have yet to get a picture on my BlackBerry of one of my kids coming down the slide with a cigarette photobombing the shot. But I will post it when I get it; we just don't eat there very often. On the whole, I think our kids have done a tremendous job bending to the new environment. And it's only on very rare occasions now that they cry about the lack of an Arby's.

15. The Cannes Ward--this topic deserves its own post. For example, there is a French-speaking family from Madagascar in our ward. I won't tell you which member of the family asked them if they owned a lemur in order to prove that they were really from Madagascar. (It was me.) So many faux pas, but we keep going to meetings, potlucks, classes, and activities. They are as surprised to see us each week as we are to be there.

16. Unexplored Territory--there are some conversions we haven't been able to make yet. Switching from McDonald's to the local QuickBurger. Giving up eggs as a breakfast food (they prefer omelettes as a lunch item). From everything I've seen, the classic French breakfast consists of a coffee, a croissant, and a cigarette. Switching to the boxed, shelf-stable milk. Eating raw ham. Viewing oysters as a Christmas food.

So if it seems like we are operating at less-than-normal capacity, we probably are. Or at least we certainly were initially, but it feels like we're through that first rough patch. This year has felt less intimidating, less disorienting, and more enjoyable. Which means that if you don't hear from us right away after you email, call, or text, it's probably not because we've adopted to the life of a paysan and we're out on the terrace feeding mosquitoes and arguing over Descartes versus Camus. Most likely, we're trying to keep our heads above water, manage the demands of the job, the homework, the extracurriculars, and the housework. Just like everyone else. But always wearing sweet, stylish scarves.

My New Favorite Song

I have to blog about something that NEVER happens.  I'm not talking about finally being able to stay up past midnight without drooling on my shirt whilst trying to watch a movie with my husband.  No, sadly, I still can't manage that one.  I am talking about discovering a song that I absolutely loved, then introducing it to Jason, and he first, also liked it, and second, had NEVER HEARD OF IT!!!  If you know me or my husband, you know that's a feat that defies nature.  Here's why: he is a music afficionado.  He seems to know something about every genre (except maybe country music) and also most artists (even ones he won't readily admit).  I, on the other hand, have always been a little clueless in that department.  Like anyone, I enjoy music, but Jason is the one who loads my iPod, buys me CDs (to this day I have never bought myself a CD), and downloads songs he thinks I might like from iTunes.  Basically, my link to music and especially anything current is through him.  Pathetic, I know.

Anyway, I was listening to this song on a local English-speaking radio station called "Riviera Radio," and I had heard it once before as well.  I thought it was maybe a new single by "Barenaked Ladies," since it sort of sounds like them a little.  I kept singing the melody to Jason, trying to figure out the name of the song.  I thought it was called "You're My Always," or "My Shining Star," but I had no idea.  The radio station DJs never say who sings what, so I was on my own.  This song is catchy though, and I was positive it had to be a hit, and I was just the musical idiot who is, like always, behind the times.  But a strange thing happened: as I sang bits of the song to him, Jason could not place it to save his life, and that has never happened before in 14 years of marriage.

Again, we didn't know the name of the band or the song, so we started searching on YouTube using phrases from the song that I could remember.  It was tough, but Jason finally tracked down the song.  It's by a Dutch band named "Ten Sharp," and the song is called "You."  It has only been available for download on iTunes since May of this year, but get this:  the song was recorded almost 20 YEARS AGO in 1992, and it never crossed over to America for some reason.  I can't figure it out.  This song should be huge in America.  Or maybe I'm just so out of touch with America's musical preferences that I shouldn't have an opinion about that.  (However, it can't just be me.  This song was a #1 hit in France and several other European countries.)  Why don't you listen to it and see what you think?  It's worth it for the piano alone, which is truly outstanding.  Then tell me if you like the song as much as I do!   

Before you do though, I have to warn you the video is sort of dumb.  It'e very European--it's just a bunch of young attractive people sailing around in what looks like the French Riviera.  But video aside, do you like the song?  Could it be the next big hit in America now that it can finally be found on iTunes?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsc-oT9PsSQ

Did you like it?

Stand by Moi

I just got home from my new job.  And yes, it’s a teaching job.  (What else am I qualified for, right?)  But it’s unlike any teaching job I have ever had: 

·         First, it’s English teaching and not science. 
·       Second, the kids are younger than I am used to.  The ages of my students range from 8 to 10-years old. 
·         Third, my class size is 9.  (That’s a big difference from the class size of 36-40 I am used to.)
·         Finally, the kids do not speak English, and therefore do not understand a word I am saying!

Half of me feels giddy with the fact that I am back doing what I love.  I genuinely loved being a teacher in America, and I have truly missed it since we moved to France.   I taught for 13 years.  I had thought of myself as a “teacher” for so long, that without it, I almost felt like I had lost a part of my identity.  Teaching was what I knew.  It wasn’t ever easy, but it was comfortable. 

The other half of me is wondering what in the world I have gotten myself into.  In typical “Tiffany fashion,” I had over-prepared, and it only took me five minutes to figure that out.  I assumed since I have the older, “more advanced” class, that I would be helping mostly fluent children with grammar, spelling, and reading in English.  All the teaching materials I received indicated as much.  But when I handed out a 5-page (but simple and age-appropriate) pretest to help me plan the 11-week curriculum, and then told the kids to begin by writing their name on their papers, all I got in return was 9 blank stares.  Yeah, I pretty much knew at that point that I had over-prepared. And way overestimated the ability level of my students. 

Luckily, I had some fun activities planned, and I was able to modify like crazy.  I think the kids enjoyed themselves, and I did too, though I now remember how exhausting teaching is.  As I spent more time with the kids, I realized they are definitely not beginners; they just need a lot of practice and have forgotten a lot.  They may also have a more difficult time with my American accent rather than the UK English they are used to hearing.  (I was already asked by my boss to redo worksheets I had made with British spelling rather than American, so "color" is "colour," and "favorite" is "favourite."  Whatever.)  Truly the hardest thing about the experience was when a couple of the kids didn’t have the skill or understanding to do what I asked, they would just tune me out and start talking to one another in French.  When I asked them to stop or pay attention, it was like they didn’t even hear me!  They weren’t being disrespectful; they just didn’t understand I was talking to them until I got them to look at me.  So I had to use a lot of eye contact and body language and motioning to get them to understand.  Of course, writing everything I said helped too.

I only teach on Wednesdays (the day French kids have off from regular school) from 9:00-12:00.  So on paper, and compared to what I am used to, this job should be a breeze!  But actually, I am sure it will be fairly challenging.  And like always, it will take far more prep than it’s worth monetarily, but such is the life of a teacher.  That was one part of the job where I definitely knew what to expect!     

First Day of School

Last Monday, September 5th, was our first day of school.  Jenica and Jocelyn started "Form 3" (which is 2nd grade), and Maisy is in a class called "Reception" (4-5 year old preschool).  Like all Moms, I had mixed feelings about the kids going back to school.  Mostly because this is the first year that all three girls are in full-day school, so I have every day to myself.  In some ways that's great for me, but in other ways, that's an awful lot of time to fill until they get home each day. 

Today is Tuesday, so it's now the 7th day they have been in school, and . . .so far I am loving it as much as they are!  I've managed to stay very busy, and I am always surprised that it's already time to go pick them up at the end of the school day. It's funny how that works.

This pose is what Jeni came up with when I told her to "show me you are excited for school to start!"

They were all beyond ready and so thrilled to start classes, but especially Maisy.  The first thing she had asked me every day for two full weeks before school started was a very hopeful: "Mom, is it school today?"  She was always so disappointed when I told her, "almost, but not yet."  I worried Maisy might have a hard time being away from me all day, but honestly, she gives me a kiss and hug in the morning, walks through the school gate with her teacher and doesn't even look back.  I have never seen a child more eager to learn and socialize.  She absolutely loves it!  Yesterday she brought home her first "homework," and she was practically giddy to show me what she got to do (it was just some little picture books to look at and discuss with me).

I think I overshot on the backpacks.  They are cute, but way too big.  The twins stopped using them after the first week.

Here's to hoping things continue to go as well as they have the last 7 school days!!  Happy "Back to School" to all of you out there ( though probably a little later than you are used to).  May your pencils stay as sharp as your wits.

Loving Our New Hot Tubs!

After a long break, I am back online at my own computer and happy to be blogging again. 

Our summer has been fantastic with more pictures and write ups to follow, but I had to quickly post about one of the funny things the kids came up with to fill their free time.  While we were in Utah at a family reunion in Bear Lake, the kids spent HOURS in a hot tub there.  When we got home they had an idea to make their own out of a little inflatable boat we already had.  It took maybe a day of the intense August sunshine to heat up the water in the boat to a really comfortable temperature.  The problem: not all three girls could fit.  So, to save ourselves the headache of hearing them fight over who gets to use the "hot tub," we bought them two more cheap little baby pools.  Problem solved! 

 

Pizza in Pisa

My niece, Josie Brandow, is currently visiting us.  She has been here for several weeks, and we have loved having her.  Since her visit has been so much longer than most, we have had time to take her to all our favorite places and then some.  Jason had the idea to take her to Pisa, Italy, a destination where we have never taken any of our guests before.  We also thought it was a good place to take the kids, since there are only a few things to see and not too much walking for them.  It ended up being a perfect day trip, and we had a great time sightseeing, eating Italian thin-crust pizza, delicious pasta carbonara, and, of course, gelato.

Josie Brandow--Pisa, Italy

Jason and the girls in the Duomo--Jeni and Joci are holding up their finger which they had just dipped in "holy water."  Jenica says, "Mom, I'm not going to ever wash this finger again."  Let's hope she changes her mind.

Everyone knows the Leaning Tower of Pisa is one of the main attractions to see in Pisa, Italy. We decided to let the girls see if they could find a building that looked like it was going to tip over. When we finally saw it, Jocelyn said, "Oh my gosh, Mom. That's the same building as in 'Little Einsteins'!"

Everybody takes these perspective pictures of the Leaning Tower.  It's super cheesy and touristy, I know, but it's just what you do.  Some of ours turned out, and some didn't.  Take a look:

Here's the best of the bunch.  That's because Josie can follow directions really well.  I love how Maisy is practicing for her turn.

Nice try, Maisy!!

Getting better, Jocelyn!

Got it, Jenica!!

The girls know they have a fun and amazing Dad who had cold water ready at all times, had plenty of change for the tolls and restrooms, bought the girls some cute souvenirs, and then was the first to jump in the pool and play with them when we got home.  But what they don't realize is that he stayed up late the night before making sure he knew where to park and how to get there.  He got up at 5:00 a.m. to help me load the car, then he gently put the girls in the car at 6:00, making them comfy so they could all sleep another two hours.  He also made sure they all had movies, activities, and snacks for the road trip, and he carried Maisy when she was tired.  Not to mention he drove the entire way there and back (about 4 hours each way).  Though kids never realize all that goes into a succesful road trip, I know this is one they'll remember.  And if not, at least we'll always have the goofy pictures to prove it! 

Maisy Rose

My little girl turns four today!  I can’t believe she has only been a part of our family for a mere four years, and I can’t imagine life without her.  She has grown up so much over the last year, and she is still all girl.  She loves makeup (she calls it “playing makeup over”), dress up, high heels, jewelry, pretty clothes, painted nails, purses, and her friends. 

Maisy and Norah Bates

Maisy and some friends at school--Jemima, Maisy Mae, and William

Maisy and her friend--did I ever mention most little girls never wear tops when they swim in France?

Maisy is so sweet and pleasant most of the time, and I will miss our afternoons together next year when she is in full-day school.  Here are some pictures of her in action at school this last year:

What a difference 6 months makes!!  She looks so young to me in this picture taken at Christmas time, 2010

Here she is on the playground of Mougins School riding a scooter

Her pre-school teacher gave her a glowing report card and mentioned what a considerate child she is, always sharing and thinking of others.  The teacher also called Maisy her “Polly Pocket” every morning.  I think it was because Maisy was one of the youngest and shortest in the class. 

Maisy is in front, fourth over from the left, and is sitting next to Paige Birks, one of her very best little friends at school

Early Years--Hands up!!

 There are so many things I hope to always remember about Maisy at this age, such as:

1.       Her infectious giggle

2.       The way she calls pajamas “cheebies”

3.       The slight British accent she has picked up at the British school she attends.

4.       Right before she jumps in the pool, she yells “ready. . . steady. . .GO!”

5.       Her sun-bleached blond hair and beautiful bright, clear blue eyes

6.       Seeing her in her full dress up outfits

7.       The way she kisses and hugs me at bedtime:  she has a very particular pattern—right cheek gets a kiss and then a hug, left cheek gets a kiss and then a hug, then a fishy kiss on the lips

8.       The way she has to change clothes 5-6 times a day at least

9.       The cute way she makes her bed and puts her stuffed animals on top

10.   How she always told me to pack extra snacks so she could share with her friends

This was dress up day at school

As every parent knows, it’s so bittersweet to see your youngest child grow up.  She thinks she is fourteen rather than four sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world.  She will always be my sweet Maisy Rose.

Maisy at Park Phoenix in Nice, France